Black Bear

coming to terms that I am
indeed not a photographer.
I can not acutely portray any meaning
or anything that I have to say.
Nor do I understand what it means to be
a photographer. I do not create using light.
I simply take from things and instances in front of
me. I do not create with light.

I do not have the goal
to make/take an image that will
profoundly affect the art world as I know it.
I never really intended to, and lost sight of that.
I can not create for others. I can not do things for others.

I rarely try to things only
for myself. I try to put others before myself
when at all possible. I think it's time to be selfish
again. To say fuck everyone else.


At the same time,
I feel like if I didn't have to
pick up a camera to fulfill assignments
I wouldn't. I need to take a break.

I've gone back to my first love: singing.
And another: playing guitar.
I've gone back to what has always been natural for me.

I've written two songs thus far
and recorded them.
nothing terrific... i wouldn't expect them to be.
But i'm still pretty excited at the start i've made.


http://www.myspace.com/blackbearchicago